I'M NOT A MONOPOLIZER.

jeff finally got me to download that damn monopoly game on my iphone, and i can't get OFF it! i'm completely obsessed with trying to beat the computer on easy, and i can't manage to do it.. strategic side of me is at about a negative 5 right now.. it's a little disheartening. anyway!

i've noticed for about a week now that i've been having major major MAJOR mood swings. usually when i get irritated, i collect myself pretty well and i manage to exert that anger onto something else. like a painting. but lately i can't hold anything in! i take too much notice into little things, like the fact that rashida always sleeps in class.. i threw a crumpled piece of paper at her today to wake her up because i was so annoyed. but she does it everyday! so what makes this week so much different? jeff does little things to annoy me too.. like usually i'll be excited to tell him something that happened, and at the end of my story he's completely silent. then he just changes the subject to something he did or whatever. i mean yeah it's kind of frustrating when i don't get feedback, but i'm normally able to just let that go and move on. lately i've been calling him out on it and actually raising my voice. the past few days i have noticed that he's tried to be a little more responsive, but i just feel bad that i make him feel obligated to do anything that's not "him". because he's not obligated to be anyone else than the person he was when i first met him. it's only now that my brain can't overpower what my mouth says.

it feels as if i'm fighting with myself in my head.. "why the fuck are you mad right now? you're going to feel really stupid."
and inevitably, i do.

maybe the hormones in my body are just having an off week.. and i'll just leave it at that. haha.

on a side note.. ex boyfriends. haaaa. note: NO, it is definitely not okay to touch me and grab me in inappropriate places 4 years after we were together. i just thought i'd clear that up since you looked a bit puzzled when i left the coffee shop.